


one look from you and i'm on that faded love

by smallredboy



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autistic Alexander Hamilton, Autistic James Madison, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Making Out, Nonbinary Alexander Hamilton, Other, Prompt Fill, Trans James Madison, alex uses ze/hir, an overuse of em dashes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 22:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15567969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Alex and James have been screwing around for a while; it changes for the better when Alex tells James ze's in love with him.





	one look from you and i'm on that faded love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [washingtononyourside](https://archiveofourown.org/users/washingtononyourside/gifts).



> a prompt fill for moonz. i love madilton so much. faceclaim for alex is michael luwoye, michael is valid and so is this alex, i love ze. theyre so fucking dumb
> 
> title from heavens gate by fall out boy

James and Alex’s  _ thing  _ began a while ago, but James still can’t bring himself to do anything about it. He just watches with curious eyes as Alex flirts shamelessly with every attractive person ze meets; watches with jealous glances as Alex cups Laf’s cheek and breathes out a compliment that’s all too sincere.

James tries to ignore his need for  _ something  _ and flops down on his bed, Thomas looking at him unimpressed from his own bed. He takes his phone, scrolls down his contacts. Thomas has to leave for something or other in an hour or so. And testosterone has made him terribly needy — he could just...

He knows he’s lost when his thumb hovers over the phone symbol next to Alex’s contact. 

Thomas sits down next to him, snatches his phone from his hands. “Hey!” he protests weakly, sitting up and looking at Thomas indignantly.

“You’re about to call Hamilton?” he asks, lips upturned into an amused grin. 

James’ face burns a little. “Maybe so.”

Thomas rolls his eyes and tosses James’ phone into his lap. “You can get better dick than hirs, c’mon Jemmy, don’t disappoint me like this.”   


“I have low standards and I don’t think anybody else is available,” he replies, looking up at Thomas.

He shrugs and hums in thought. “Laf always makes time for sex, get their dick if anything.”   


James laughs and elbows Thomas in the ribs; he doesn’t even flinch.

* * *

When they argue about something stupid for the umpteenth time, James can't help but wonder if these arguments are excuses. Excuses to make out, for one of them to put a leg between the other's thighs. He wouldn't know. 

Alex grabs his face and kisses him — it's hungry and needy, just like they both like it. James tangles his hand in hir hair and pushes hir impossibly closer, until their chests are pressed together and they're both out of breath.    
  
"Fucking hell," Alex breathes, hir hand still on James' cheek. Ze pulls away just to touch James' chin, fingers brushing against the scruff. "Fucking hell, James."   
  
James laughs and kisses Alex again, his thumb going over Alex's cheekbone. He traces a line over it and then brushes against Alex’s beard. He’s so damn handsome and it knocks the air out of him sometimes. It’s stupid, and it’s dumb, and Alex loathes James’ best friend, why oh why is he feeling things for hir.

James looks at hir adoringly, as much as he wishes he didn’t, and something in Alex’s eyes shines. It’s… weird, almost. Alex’s breathing catches in hir throat and ze is smiling so wide it probably hurts

James tries not to think about Alex’s blinding smile, the shine in hir eyes, and simply kisses hir again and again. Kisses hir until they’re both out of breath and somebody’s got their hand under the other’s pants.   


* * *

Alex invites hirself to James and Thomas’ apartment. It’s not unexpected or unwelcome; Thomas is out. Probably invited himself to Angelica’s apartment; James wouldn’t expect less from his best friend.

Alex just plops down on James’ couch and scrolls through his phone. James can’t help but watch hir from the corner of his eye. Ze’s nervous, by the look of hir — fiddling with hir fingers, rocking back and forth just slightly. It’s cute, almost — James can’t help but wonder what’s got hir so nervous, though. He’s got no clue what could it be.

After a while, ze gets up from the couch. Ze leans close to him and rests hir chin in James' shoulder. James stiffens a little. And Alex says as casually as ze can, as if ze's talking about the weather— "I'm in love with you."   
  
James' breath catches in his throat, and his hands twitch against the mouse. He takes a breath. "I know."   
  
Ze blinks and stares at James incredulously. "You know?" ze echoes.    
  
James nods, the knot in his stomach not letting him say anything else. Every one of his nerves feels like it's on end, and he doesn't know what he's got to say. He knows, deep down, what he could say — what he  _ should  _ say. But he can't bring himself to articulate it.    
  
"That's—" ze gulps. James notices hir hands are trembling. "That's all you're gonna say?"

James takes a deep breath and turns around to face hir. Hir eyes are glossy with tears, and James’ heart tears apart just a little bit. He’s such an emotional asshole; he needs to say something. “I… feel a way about you, too.”

“A way?” ze quips. “That’s — that’s unhelpfully vague, James.”

James sighs and gets up, his hand on hir tight curls. “I know it’s unhelpfully vague,” he tells hir, hot breath all too close, too much like when they make out without meaning or reason. “But my feelings for you are unhelpfully vague.”

Alex’s lip trembles, but hir eyes light up just a little bit. “I’ll take that as a ‘Me too’, then.”

James laughs, tilting his head back just a little. He grins, wide and toothy. Alex’s breath catches in hir throat just a little; his eyes are blown wide with love, and James feels full. Full of what, he doesn’t know. “That’s a good way of taking it,” he tells hir.

“I’m good at interpreting you,” Alex tells him.

He chuckles and kisses hir. “Both of us being autistic helps with that, I’m sure.”

Alex cups his cheek, and ze looks so awestruck by James — it makes his heart beat terribly fast. He doesn’t like feeling  _ things _ , much less for Alex Hamilton. But it doesn’t matter, and he can deal with Thomas’ jabs at him for feeling  _ things  _ for Alex later.

“Have I ever told you how fucking handsome you are?”

James tilts his head, leaning into Alex’s touch. “Not really.”

“Well, here you have it —” ze takes a deep breath. “You’re terribly dashing and such a handsome man it’s fucking unbelievable.”

He laughs and kisses him again and again until they’re both out of breath. “You’re pretty decent looking yourself.”   
  
Alex rolls hir eyes. “Your emotional constipation is a pain in the ass. Just say I’m gorgeous and go.”

“You’re gorgeous, and how good you look amazes me every single day,” he says, only sounding a little bit exasperated. “That good enough?”   
  
“That’s perfect, babe,” ze replies.

James lets himself melt into Alex’s arms for once.   
  



End file.
